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September 20, 2024 | By Hannah Loomis

Suzy Paalman had served as an Annapolis tutor since 1997, including a stint as Assistant Dean in 2009-2013, before stepping into her current role as Dean of the College last fall. Now a year into the job, she discusses her unusual path to St. John’s College, how much being a tutor has shaped her reading and thinking, and the gratitude she feels for serving the school she loves. 

What was your path to becoming a tutor?

I came out of the science world. When I was younger, I wanted to know everything there was to know about life. I have degrees in biophysics and biophysical chemistry, but during my studies I realized I had questions that weren’t being answered. Something wasn’t sitting right. I began looking around to see what other career possibilities there might be.

In 1997 while completing my doctorate in biophysics at the Johns Hopkins School of Medicine, I happened to learn about St. John’s while on a walking tour of Annapolis, and soon after I decided to apply to be a tutor. Eva Brann was the dean, and she appointed me. I think she took a pretty big risk because I was not versed in much of the Program.

That was a huge change for you. Can you talk about the transition to St. John’s?

I had an interest in literature and theology, but it was skin-deep. I had never read Plato, Aristotle, Kant, or Hegel. I had read very little of the literature in the Program; I think maybe just Oedipus Rex and Pride and Prejudice. So, I remember the first two or three years, especially, as a complete immersion into this wonderful world of books, authors, and discussions that I had no idea existed beforehand. It was exciting and exhilarating. It was also kind of scary and really, really difficult. I carry that memory, particularly when I’m teaching newer students. I understand at least some of what they’re going through because of my own experience.

How did you feel at that point about your previous career?

I was glad I’d done all my studies in biology. It was beautiful and intricate—I still love it very much—and it has helped me in many areas of the Program.

On the other hand, it presented me with a kind of edifice of the scientific project with no understanding of the underpinnings. Coming to St. John’s allowed me to investigate that a little by reading Aristotle and Darwin and many other authors who played a huge role in thinking about our relationship to the natural world.

My understanding of the science world has changed. So many questions we researchers had presupposed and thought we knew the answers to were upended for me when I had the freedom to pursue them in an open-ended way at St. John’s. I realized that some of my dissatisfaction with the career and research I’d been preparing for was due to not quite knowing what I was doing and why. The world I lived in as a researcher was built on things that I did not understand.

I’m very, very grateful to St. John’s for allowing me to ask those kinds of questions and make those connections for myself.

Were any parts of the Program difficult for you to teach at first?

The hardest class was definitely seminar. I have strong memories of staying up late, staring at the ceiling in the dark while trying to figure out Plato. I had a lot of really big and unformed questions; bringing them into class and trying to help students work on their own questions was so hard. It took years before I really felt comfortable in seminar, but I loved wrestling with all of that.

What’s your greatest wish for the college?

I hope that St. John’s continues to be a place where people can come and ask questions without being steered inappropriately into the prevailing thought of the moment. Where people have the freedom to look into the most important questions. Where we continue to attract people who are willing and able to set aside their preconceptions and really be open to what the books are saying, even if it takes them out of their comfort zone.

I’m grateful that I get to help this college I love so much, which has formed me as a thinker, and which I think, I hope, and I believe does so much good for so many people.